Some thoughts after reading multiple books on golf, playing many rounds with good friends (and not so good friends), and just general thoughts off the top of my head-

Grip-
Someone once told me that you should grip the club as lightly as you were holding a baby bird in your palm and you were trying to keep it from flying away without crushing it to death; this person is a lunatic. You should hold every club, except the putter, as it were a poisonous rattle snake looking to sink those deadly fangs into you if you relaxed your grip for a second. To practice this grip, get a large carrot and boil it for about 2 minutes. Now grip the carrot just as you would the club, Squeeze as tightly as you can until the carrot oozes through your fingers…that’s the grip.

Swing Speed-
Good golfers may be able to hit the ball far with what looks like a smooth effortless swing, but for a Hack Fest Hacker the secret to getting good distance, especially off the tee, is time warp clubhead speed between set up and impact. Basically, you're not swinging fast enough unless there is a sonic boom, the ball explodes, or your back cracks.

Golfers giving tips-
No offense, but if I gave a penny for your swing thoughts, I would be over paying. “Keep you elbow in”, “keep your elbow out”, “don’t look up”, “swing smooth” (WOW, I never thought of that!). The only tip I listen to is “you need a beer”.

Talking to your ball-
Some people do and some don’t. I do. That being said, I talk to a ball differently depending on its quality, such as-

• Titlesiest PRoV1 heading for a hazard – I might say forcefully (but not yelling) “be nice and turn, turn, be a good ball”
• Pinnacle heading for a hazard – I might say sharply (may be yelling) “Get down, baby get down!”
• An X-Out or range ball heading for a hazard – I will Yell “SEE YA SUCKER!”

Playing badly and speed-
Hack Fest Hacker may play badly, but that is not an excuse to play slow. After all if I have a 9 and you and 8, spending time worrying about who has the “honor” on the next tee is a farce, it is first come first serve. And does it really matter if we are both in the trees, who should drop (throw) their ball out first. I am the first to say, if you are more likely to shoot your weight instead of your age, you don’t want to take all day doing it.

Being polite to the group pushing you-
Yeah….umm…I am really not the guy to give advice on this subject. I have a tendency to say what is on my mind (especially if the course is backed up ahead of our group). I do believe I threatened one or two (okay, maybe more), and used “colorful” language to get my point across. I would have to defer to Jim and John on this subject… they are the nice guys.

Praising a shot-
Wait for a ball to land before saying “nice shot”. There is nothing worse then saying “nice shot” right after someone hit the ball, only to have it go into trees, a trap, water, or just plain out of bounds. If you say nice shot to me, and my ball lands in one of the mentions hazards, you will hear me say “No, no it was not a nice shot”. The only thing worse then saying "nice shot" and having the ball land in a hazard, is following it up with “it’s ok, your safe, you can hit it from there”….I will kill you with the club I just hit with so that I can say it did me some good on that hole.


FORE!